The Hits Just Keep On Comin..

30

noreply@blogger.com (Chicken) — Thu, 27 Mar 2008 23:30:00 +0000

Tomorrow is my 30th birthday...

My third decade of being alive....hmmmm

Blue and I are having a tandem 30th birthday party....We rented a hall...food, DJ, beer...what more could you want.

I have decided I wanted my 20's to go out like they came in....PARTY!

I think is it going to be a wild adventure....we have invited everyone we know, and everyone they know. So if you live in Michigan and wanna come....let me know.....

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME!

It's official....

noreply@blogger.com (Chicken) — Fri, 15 Feb 2008 04:54:00 +0000

I have put in my notice....May 5th will be my last day in Weenie World!

The fam...(my parents) are opening a restaraunt....and I will be going to work for them....More to come on that later....

Just an FYI...I can't stand when people say that...

Hell froze over...

noreply@blogger.com (Chicken) — Wed, 30 Jan 2008 21:50:00 +0000

The snow here is HELL! What usually takes me 25 minutes to drive last night...took me 1 hour and 40 minutes! The snow was blowing so bad...I had to stop completely (from my 5mph) to make sure I was still on the road. The temperature dropped 25 degrees in 5 hours. And we had what was called a "flash freeze", the rain froze immediately, and then snowed about 3 inches on top of it. Along with blowing and severe whiteout and drifting. It was bad. When I finally got out of BFE which took me over and hour. I stopped at the gas station in town...just to pull myself together. Take a breather.

Apparently a guy here from work...one that I don't get along with or like...went into a ditch...and myself and my boss passed him by. He was driving a WHITE car. I didn't even see it. Anyway, I am struggling in my mind now...if I even would have. Isn't that terrible. I mean no one should be stuck out there and potentially freeze to death, but damn it felt good somehow that he went in a ditch...how awful am I?

Freaky #2

noreply@blogger.com (Chicken) — Tue, 29 Jan 2008 01:15:00 +0000

I had another one....

I dreamt that I was testing for Playboy magazine! Yes...really...in the dream....

When I first got there, they told me I was too old. Which really made me upset. But then they told me I still looked good, so they were going to take my picture. They gave me clothes to wear. Some sort of short black skirt and a see-through black shirt. And I posed and got my picture taken for Playboy.

I think all of the Nicotene I was intaking blocked some neuro pathways or something...cause I have some very vivid shit going on in my head these days, during my sleep. When I am awake however.... I am still just as boring as ever though.

Freaky dream...

noreply@blogger.com (Chicken) — Mon, 21 Jan 2008 21:01:00 +0000

Really strange one...

I dreamt that my sister in law...Blue and I were young. Hanging out like we used to do...we were 17-18 years old. I dreamt that we were in some sort of rehab or girls home. And that we had done our time or something, and we were packing our stuff to go home. And the clothes that we were packing...I could remember them from when we really were that age. It was weird.

Anyway, we returned home...her home. Her mothers old house. And we our boyfriends at the time, (when we were that age)...were there. We were watching TV. And for some reason I got up from the couch and went to the refrigerator and got some barbeque sauce. I then proceeded to smear it all over my legs, and shave my legs in the living room while everyone was watching...with BBQ sauce! And no one said anything.....WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT ALL ABOUT?

dork

noreply@blogger.com (Chicken) — Mon, 14 Jan 2008 21:51:00 +0000

Okay my husband and I bowled in a tournament this weekend...we did well.

But...Sunday was our regular league....and I dddrrruummmrooolll....

BOWLED A 214! HOLY SHIT!

My first 200 and it only took me....6 years......geezzz

I was so excited, I am still excited!

What a dork!

Back for a sec...

noreply@blogger.com (Chicken) — Fri, 11 Jan 2008 23:20:00 +0000

Happy Christmahannakwanza yall! And a Happy New Year too!

I haven't been around in a while. The boy keeps me way too busy. I can't turn my head for a second these days. And he repeats every word I say... and that is wayyy too much fun.

I have finally kicked the smoking habit....(applause)....yeah me
I am using the patch....and it seems to keep me from being pissed. I am on an exercise craze. I am determined to become the first "buff" non smoker...you know...cause you are supposed to gain all this weight and stuff...so far so good...looking good. I am looking good naked again...post baby and smokes....I will keep you updated on that.

Otherwise....boring.

Has anyone else's child had a fondness for taking bites out of toilet paper? My son makes a b-line to the toilet paper roll, and takes a bite out of it. And will do it over and over. And you are left with a roll of toilet paper...that whenever you roll it out...has all of these little holes in it.

Poor guy

noreply@blogger.com (Chicken) — Thu, 20 Dec 2007 02:20:00 +0000

My husband is gone....he has a huge construction job 3 hours away...and he is gone all week. And possibly for the next few months. He will only be home on weekends....but the boyfriend doesn't mind.....just kidding fools! I am sooo lonely. It is just me and the boy. I feel sorry for him though, he is staying with 2 other guys in a hotel room. They chain smoke, and the fan doesn't work in the bathroom, and they both snore, and when one is hot the other is cold. Sounds like a blast huh?

Turd Survey

noreply@blogger.com (Chicken) — Thu, 06 Dec 2007 23:37:00 +0000

Would you eat a turd for 10 million dollars?

I would, but it would have to be a nice firm healthy turd. No taco shit or anything.

Hotdog pizza

noreply@blogger.com (Chicken) — Fri, 30 Nov 2007 02:07:00 +0000

So what is new with me....hmmmm
Well...something sad first....my doggy died. He had a very bad seizure and died a few weeks ago. It was very sad. The squirrel population in my neighborhood had doubled since he has been gone. And my other dog. Who has SEVERE separation anxiety, now goes everywhere with me. Well, other than work. If no one is going to be home...he has to come. It gets old, but he will sleep in the car for hours, and be fine. If I leave him home...who knows what I will come home to. I tried it, thinking it had been 10 years since he had been left home alone. That is why I got the second dog to begin with. Anyway...he blew the 6ft privacy fence off of the pole....yeah...he's 11 years old. There is not a lot of time left. I might as well spend it letting him do the things he wants to....damn dog.

Anyway....the boy is a maniac...his vocabulary consists of: Done, bub-bye, da-da, mom, ma-ma, puppy, baby, and No-no. He is funny. He loves to go outside. He is no longer afraid of the dog...he feeds him now...that is cute...but not always fun. He is growing so much....everyday he seems to be bigger...I swear.

My parents are going into the restaurant business....I can't believe it. Never in a million years, did I think they would do that. But, I will soon be working for them...thank god. I hate hotdogland. I am ready for something new. More details on that later. I would give away the name...but I have to wait a little longer. It is going to be a pizza/pasta place. Casual dining. In a nice part of town. It will be all family ran. It will be interesting, to say the least.

Nothing else too exciting....same old stuff.....I don't have a lot of free time these days...most of what I do consists of Cheerios and sippy cups. So I make an occasional appearance for y'all.

Love me

Happy Turkey Day

noreply@blogger.com (Chicken) — Wed, 21 Nov 2007 23:27:00 +0000

I saw something on TV the other day, that on average....1 person consumes at least 3000 calories on Thanksgiving.........

I think I eat more....

Eat a fat one everyone! love you.....

Happy Thanksgiving!

It's still funny...

noreply@blogger.com (Chicken) — Wed, 07 Nov 2007 01:51:00 +0000

On this very night...

10 years ago...

along the same stretch of road...

in a dense fog...

just like this...

I saw the worst accident I ever seen...

There was this sound...

Like a garbage truck!Dropped off the empire state building!

And when they finally pulled the driver's body...

From the Twisted...

Burning...

Wreck...

It looked like...

THIS...

Tell em Large Marge sent cha!!!
hah hahahahahahah!

Halloween 07

noreply@blogger.com (Chicken) — Mon, 29 Oct 2007 22:54:00 +0000

The Halloween party of the year has come and gone....3 hours of make-up for myself, and 3 for my husband. All for one night of crazy dirty fun....

He was the devil...a pimp/gangster devil...

And I was a black angel, or a slut angel.....

So there you have it...there it is. Lot of fun and craziness. We didn't win this year though. There was a couple dressed as Dog the bount hunter, and his wife Beth...and they were perfect. I mean she was built just like here. It was good.

When good squirrels go bad....

noreply@blogger.com (Chicken) — Fri, 19 Oct 2007 23:53:00 +0000

Are any of you aware that squirrels like pumkins?

I woke up this morning, went out on my front porch. Where I have a few small pumkins for decoration. And I saw a tail sticking out of the top of one of my pumpkins....

There was a squirrel inside one of them. He looked up, he was covered in pumpkin guts.....and his mouth was full of pumpkin seeds....

He kept coming back for more all day....I couldn't catch him for a photo with his destruction...but I did get proof...

Mind you these are city squirrels....they have never probably seen a pumpkin! It may be like crack for them...who knows?!

Smoking headache

noreply@blogger.com (Chicken) — Tue, 09 Oct 2007 01:45:00 +0000

NO MORE APPLE JUICE FOR THE BOY! No seriously....this is the kind of shit you only see on the internet...I am telling you....explosions...no good.

He has now become a climber also. Everything is fair game...and he is surprisingly good at it. Some of the things he climbs on, I couldn't do it. And you would think with 29 years of expeirience vs 1...how does that work?

Otherwise....nothing new. Still broke. Still married. None of that juicy stuff that other people blog about.

I have to buy a new car come spring. I do not want to....I love my blazer. It is 15 years old, and still rockin. But, it is falling apart piece by piece finally. And it has a lot of cancer (rust) now. It is spreading rapidly. I am hoping for one more winter. The poor girl is winding down.

I am trying to quit smoking...and I could really use some helpful hints if anyone has them? I am ready to quit, after all these years of wanting to, and putting it aside. I am really ready. However, I get these migraines everytime I try not to smoke. All day Saturday, I had a migraine. And I did not smoke. I thought, well I will go to sleep and in the morning I will be ok. Not so. I still had the same headache when I woke up. I couldn't take it anymore. I smoked, and it was gone. Stupid things anyway. I am going to have to get the patch I think. I don't know, but I have to figure it out.... Plus it is too damn expensive. Between my husband and I, that is
3-500$ a month we spend. CAN YOU BELIVE THAT? That is a car payment right there...argh.

So that is all that is going on in my life......big news.

Where is my baby......

noreply@blogger.com (Chicken) — Thu, 20 Sep 2007 20:09:00 +0000

The boy turns one.....

Happy Birthday my little man! You are smart beyond your time. You are the sweetest little boy on the planet. I miss you being a tiny baby. But I love to watch you grow......

Happy First birthday.....I love you

1 year basement

noreply@blogger.com (Chicken) — Wed, 12 Sep 2007 23:05:00 +0000

I ordered a Superman cake for the boy's birthday next week! I am more excited than him of course. But I am also more excited because it is an ice cream cake! yeah!

I can't believe he will be a year old a week from tomorrow. It has gone super fast. I am 7lbs away from the day I found out I was pregnant. Not too bad. But I just need to get that flab toned up again.

Other than that....we are now officially sleeping in the basement. The old bedroom is now a dining room. It is nice down there. You can't tell when it is daylight. There is only 2 glass block windows, so you could sleep forever...well someone else could. The baby monitor reminds that I can't. And Mr. Perfect pointed out that you can go down there and watch television and no one knows you are home. That is always a nice thing.

Other than that....gearing up for the birthday party. Oh and a few minutes ago....(I am at work)...I thought I sharted....is what almost devastating...but it was okay. Jus a hot fart...pfew

I have to say it....

noreply@blogger.com (Chicken) — Tue, 11 Sep 2007 01:47:00 +0000

I know everyone is talking abou it....but I must mention Brittany's performance on the VMA's last night....

She is in much better shape than I am...but she could have gotten away with the shorts, but the whole...bra thing....no. She could have worn so many other things that she would have looked GOOD in. What was she thinking. She was a little girl when she started performing. She is a little more curvy now. She looked bad. Her hair was very badly weaved. She looked sloppy. Of course she wasn't singing, but who thought she would. And don't you think if that was your JOB, and you were about to get in front of millions of fans who doubt you, you would be in the BEST shape of your life. I guess I just wanted her to do well and show them all, and she let me down. I usually don't care about these types of things too much, but this is like a train wreck, you can't help it. She looked nervous, like she knew everyone was laughing or judging. And they were, which is exactly my point. If she couldn't deliver, then she shouldn't have done it. She just made herself look worse.....ah girl.

Kat Von D

noreply@blogger.com (Chicken) — Fri, 07 Sep 2007 23:16:00 +0000

Am I the only person in the world that thinks she is the hottest thing ever....

Yeah.....that's what I am talking about...

The Bee

noreply@blogger.com (Chicken) — Thu, 30 Aug 2007 22:11:00 +0000

The boy will be going on his first camping trip this weekend....I'll let you know just how much dirt a 11 month old can eat, when I get back.

I went out to the car yesterday to put the carseat in. I am always barefoot. I hate shoes. So in the carseat installation process, I stepped on a bee. I thought to myself...."aw fuck that really hurt, but it's only a beesting. It will be better in a while."..this was a 11:30-12noon.

I went inside and put some baking soda on it, like my mom used to do. It helped. But shortly after that my toes started to get stiff, and my foot started to swell. I am not allergic to bees. I have been stung many times, and never had a problem. But this time seemed to be different. It started to hurt worse. I thought to myself...."this must be some sort of crazy death wasp or something...which I also thought was a good name for a metal band.

I called my husband and told him that I stepped on a bee, and the current status of my foot. He says...."oh yeah, this morning when I was leaving, I saw that there was a bee nest in the fence pole by the driveway, I was gonna take care of it when I got home.".....yeah thanks hun

So then it did not stop hurting. I couldn't get my shoe on. And I was in pain. I called the doctor, thinking they may have some ingenious thing to put on it or something. Did you know that you should put meat tenderizer on a bee sting? I didn't. And seeing as I don't eat meat, that was not going to be my miracle cure. I have never owned meat tenderizer in my life.

But they did tell me to take Benedryl. Which I did. But it was not immediatley making me feel better. So I actually...get this...had to call in to work....because I stepped on a bee.....WTF! Imagine what a retard I sounded like on the phone.....my god. I felt like such a dumbass.

So when I got here today...I told everyone they had one chance to make fun of me and that was it....
Now I just have a nasty oozing hole in the bottom of my foot. Sexy huh?

When my husband got home, he went a killed the bees...he is my knight in drywall dust.

This is my real life....

Second plea for help....

noreply@blogger.com (Chicken) — Fri, 24 Aug 2007 02:36:00 +0000

I have already posted it, but I am asking againl....we have until the end of the month. I will probably remind you again, cause I am obsessed...thanks

My son is in a cute smile contest....we have until the end of August to make him a winner! Cause you know he is the cutest baby ever....

He got second place last time....boo hoo....
We need your help in making him first this time!
He is # 7 and he needs your help...

Vote for Lex here!

Baby, bong, dinner table, cat

noreply@blogger.com (Chicken) — Tue, 21 Aug 2007 05:12:00 +0000

I am at work at 1am...this constitutes a post....

My son is walking and doing some talking....Mama, da-da, bub-bye...and he makes this "shsehshshe" every time I say fishy...so I think that's what that is. He is running too...more like trotting, but much faster than walking. He is so smart...too smart. And friends....we have a climber....that is not much fun. If there is something he can get on top of...he does it. He also kisses me now...and I love it. Oh OH and he can brush his teeth and hair! Can you believe it? 11 months and he will brush his teeth and hair. I mean, not like a pro or anything, but he know what to do with those items, and does it relatively well for only being on the planet less than a year. I am proud, can you tell?

In other news....I have rearranged my basement and it is time for our bedroom to be moved down there. I went up and down the stairs approx. 200 times on Saturday. My calves feel like they will explode with the next step I take. I realized with this, that I walk up and down the stairs on my toes. Hence the calf pain. Is this normal? Do most people walk on their toes when using stairs. I have to make a more conscience effort not to do this. I will need to start getting more thigh involved. That needs the work.

So the basement has be de-spidered and cleaned. Ready for my bedroom. My basement is huge, and it will make a nice bedroom. I don't think we have done it in the basement yet. Oh whoops, got off track......Yeah so the bedroom will be made into a dining room. I have never had one of those. I put in a bar in the kitchen, because I never planned on having any children that I would want to sit and eat with. And the only kind of entertaining I have ever done, involved a case of beer or two, a bong, and standing room only. You know what I'm talking about?

So now, I am going to do the family thing with the dinner table and everything.

Well you will be glad to know that Mack is doing well. He has put on some weight. I have healed all of his wounds. And he is happy and healthy...I even caught him gettin some from the neighbor cat!

Cutest Smile Contest

noreply@blogger.com (Chicken) — Wed, 15 Aug 2007 01:38:00 +0000

My son is in a cute smile contest....we have until the end of August to make him a winner! Cause you know he is the cutest baby ever....

He got second place last time....boo hoo....
We need your help in making him first this time!
He is # 7 and he needs your help...

Vote for Lex here!

Toddler tude

noreply@blogger.com (Chicken) — Mon, 13 Aug 2007 23:42:00 +0000

My sons new word is "bub'bye". Which he runs around the house saying all day long.

So I thought I would be cute and get the video camera out while he was eating and see if I could get him to say it. I set up the camera on the chair, cause he knows something is up when he sees it. Anyway, he didn't know he was being taped.

I said "bub'bye" about 25 times, trying to get him to say it. And of course he woudln't, now that he knew I wanted him to. After about 10 minutes of this....he wrinkles up his eyebrows and get this angry look....then yells "BUUUB BYEEEE" at the top of his lungs.... Like he was telling me....there I said it, shut up.

It was very funny. And I have it all on video. If I can figure out how to get it on here. I will.
I don't know where he could get that attitude from, can you?

Tyranasauras Lex

noreply@blogger.com (Chicken) — Tue, 07 Aug 2007 01:54:00 +0000

I just have to take some time (which I have none of) to show you my little monster these days...
This is why I have no time.....